I mean, I want to fuck you now. I just have self-control, and... [ She exhales hard, cheeks puffing for a beat as if she's trying to steady the rush of her pulse. A flicker of nerves rises where confidence had been moments earlier, and she suddenly isn't sure how much she should admit. Beyond sharing a home with two other tethers... ] I might have some, uh... [ Another pause, another hitch in her breath, and she forces the word out despite the tightness of her chest. ] Trauma, I guess. That's probably the best way to put it, and I don't want to kill the mood.
[ None of this is Jinx's fault. Jinx hasn't sparked any panic, no whiff of that awful mix of bleach and tobacco the janitor always reeked of, no shadow of cruelty in the way she touches or looks at her. They've kept things light, careful, playful. Wandering hands, yes, but nothing overt, nothing that pushed too far.
Still, it's not something Sharon has really let herself think about since becoming whole again. A nightmare or two, maybe, but even letting her mind drift toward that territory makes her muscles threaten to seize up like a rabbit realizing it's already between a wolf's teeth. ]
[ she mumbles, now sucking in her lips hard in a way to prevent herself from saying anything or doing anything out of line. jinx wanted sharon to take the wheel of this whole relationship/friendship they're having because people often say they could handle her when, in reality, they can't. but now it seems allowing sharon be in charge was the right call from the start. ]
Uhm. You don't gotta come over if it's... too much. Or. Something. I don't want to make you feel like I'm pushing you into it just because I'm, uh, about to pop. Heh...
[ it's the best way she can describe it, too. all her life, even up to now, she felt like she was this ugly duckling and her older sibling was the beautiful swan. even before caitlyn, vi always had some girl flaunting over her; boy wanted to be with her regardless of her preference, and then there were people like mylo and herself who wanted to impress her or just be her.
jealousy had always been a part of jinx and while that emotion had been diminished significantly, it still prickles across her skin when she least expects it. whenever she sees or hears kalmiya on the murmur, that is when it claws at her the most. ... her body must be so perfect, and her personality is probably what everyone fantasizes about in a woman. oh, to be touched and loved on by someone. but jinx, herself, has be a looker too, right? because why else would sharon, the coolest and hottest girl in the city, possibly do any of this with her? ]
You can punch me any time if I do something stupid.
[ About to pop? The phrase pulls a soft laugh from her. Sharon lets her fingers drift through Jinx's hair, slow and careful so she doesn't snag a single strand, mulling her next words in thoughtful quiet. ]
I didn't bring it up because I'm trying to back out. I'm telling you just in case. [ It's a safeguard, really, and the idea of reacting badly when she's obviously into this is embarrassing enough without accidentally hurting Jinx's feelings on top of it. Her voice smooths into something warmer. ] If something goes wrong, I don't want you thinking it's because of you, or that I'm not very into all of this. [ The very comes with a playful lilt, a little spark beneath it. ]
But I will punch you if you do anything stupid. [ There's a smile tucked into her tone as she glances down at Jinx, nestled comfortably against her chest again. ] That applies all the time, right?
[ just in case, she says, and her muscles relax, and she melts into her friend, now knowing without a doubt that this is a mutual feeling and not at all a result of her becoming pushy. because she can be sometimes, she's aware. it's life lesson number fifty-three of silco's "how to be empowered"— if you want something, take it; don't let anyone tell you that you are not worthy of having what you desire. let nothing come between you and your wants. if someone or something steps in the way, eliminate it or them.
granted, eliminating someone or something that will threaten to rip her new best friend away from her arms is very much still in the cards, and she will do it without a second thought. but as far as she can tell, no one here poses such a danger.
... except ash, maybe, the girl who claims she isn't at all mirroring jinx and yet seems to have a lot of the same characteristics. even almost down to ash's family members having the same mannerisms as hers. it's eerie, especially when she also seems to have a decent friendship with sharon. it's a coincidence; all of it is just a coincidence. but as she told her friend in the apartment, sniping her personality is where she draws the line. the bluenette huffs out a tiny giggle and shakes her head at sharon's words and her own thoughts as she crinkles up her face, teasingly. ]
Woah, easy there, Toots. I don't have enough makeup to cover up all the shiners.
[ her tease halts suddenly, practically like an interruption, as she lifts her head slightly off of sharon's chest to cast a glance towards her friend's bedroom door. it's shut, as it has been, but the way she wears her expression and how silent she is, it appears as if, to her, someone is lingering there or someone had just entered the room. the crow lifts up a hand mid-way, waving awkwardly to... whoever she's greeting, then turns her focus back to the blonde. ]
Eeesh, huh? Guessing that's the famous Freddie I keep hearing about?
[ Jinx makes it sound like Sharon would be taking face shots—as if. Sharon is about to say that when Jinx shifts, lifting her head to study the door. Sharon leans a little, trying to see around her, half expecting a knock. Instead, Jinx just... waves. At nothing.
It's not frightening, and it's not something Sharon pities her for. It just hits a sore spot. When Sharon used to see things, at least she knew they usually weren't real. Can't ever confuse a monster for a real person. Jinx doesn't get that certainty. ]
Afraid not, Jinx. [ Her voice stays gentle, free of judgment. She knows Jinx deals with sights and sounds no one else gets. She understands it better than she'd like. ] Pretty sure that's someone only you can see. Door didn't even open. What'd they look like?
[ the word loses momentum as she gives her door another inspection to see if the stranger was going to materialize again. he doesn't, the door stays shut tight—no sounds of the hinges whining or the knob rattling to give them a heads up.
jinx curls more into her friend, her toes gripping on a blanket before hoisting her foot like an extra hand for her real one to take over. she covers herself underneath it, scooting some of it to sharon in case she wants to get tucked in too. ]
He was big. [ she starts, looking off towards her friend's paintings. ] Almost couldn't fit through the door. Bushy eyebrows, a huge schnoz, a grey beard...an old timer, but not that old. Guess he was a dead guy.
[ Sharon cuddles under the blanket, pulling it up a little higher as she adjusts an arm around Jinx, her fingers drifting lazily through the hair at the nape of her neck. With the way Jinx describes him, it's easy enough to picture the guy, though Sharon can't help but imagine him dressed like some storybook wizard. Merlin, but bigger. ]
Maybe he just wanted to check in on us, make sure there wasn't any funny business going on. [ There's a smile in her voice. Then, her voice growing flat— ] Or he could've been some weird pervert. Old men love watching girls make out.
[ now that makes her bark out a laugh, and it almost leads into a silly giggle fit. but it's a good thing that her gut didn't burst over it. her smile is huge, teeth showing along with her gap. ]
Hahaha...! —Well, I love showing off. [ the grin then twists cheeky as she shuts her eyes, nose slightly up in the air like she is some big shot. ] Especially when it comes to what's mine.
[ Sharon chuckles under her breath, a low rumble in her chest. ] Right, right, I should've guessed. [ Jinx has absolutely no shame, though Sharon can't bring herself to see that as anything but a virtue. She wishes she had a little less shame of her own, but old habits die hard; she's spent too long wearing whatever mask kept eyes off her. Shamelessness draws attention, and attention has teeth. ]
Do you have bff necklaces back home? [ The question slips out with only the slightest hitch, hesitant. Maybe now that it's official, she can indulge in stupid, girly bullshit without overthinking it. ] Everyone will know we're besties if we find a pair.
"BeeFF" necklaces? [ she echoes the words, the aberration oozing with uncertainty on whether she got the pronunciation right. ] I, uh. Maybe?
[ it sounds like something the teenager girls in piltover would do. to buy some expensive charm to brag not only about their friendship but also about how loaded their parents are. ]
I've only had two close friends, but... they didn't stick around long. We didn't really wear anything; it wasn't safe to. Any kind of jewelry could get you robbed blind in the streets if you're sloppy.
It means best friends forever. [ Saying it out loud makes her feel almost juvenile, like she's stepped back into her early teens, faintly embarrassed. ]
And we don't exactly have to worry about getting robbed blind around here. Not that anyone anywhere would bother stealing these things. They're cheap, usually just some flimsy bit of metal that looks cute for a week before it tarnishes. [ She shrugs. ] I've seen girls braid friendship bracelets, too, but I've never figured out how to do it.
Oh. [ she says after getting some clarity and she nods slowly—her cheek brushing against her friend's chest. ] Are you sure you want me to be your forever?
[ ... that came out way more intimate than she hoped, and a small hint of red bleaches across her freckles over the misinterpretation. but jinx is hoping sharon will know what she actually meant by that. ]
Do you think I'd just bring shit up without being sure? [ Her voice stays steady, even as a gentler note threads through it. ] I like you, Jinx. And I don't see that changing any time soon.
[ She can't see the future, can't predict what Sleep might twist or what the world might strip from them next, but none of that changes the truth sitting warm and solid in her chest. Jinx has made herself at home in her heart, and that space can't be occupied by anyone else—not anymore. ]
[ if sharon's goal is to see how beet red she can get her under thirty minutes, she well succeeded in that because it's telling all over her face, her ears, and the tip of her shoulders. still, she smiles even with her heart quickening—the good kind of fluttering that makes her want to sprint out of bed in excitement. ] I like you too, Sharon.
[ and she lifts her hand to extend out her azure colored pinky, grinning. ]
Pinky promise to forever no matter what?
[ who knows what the future will bring for them, whether they will be until they grow old and grey, both returning to their rightful realms, or... the scariest outcome... they break up. but whatever happens, jinx hopes they continue to stay friends in some shape or form. ]
[ Sharon has never managed to fluster anyone the way she does Jinx, and it warms her more than she likes to admit. And hearing Jinx say it out loud, I like you too, hits different. It's always been obvious, sure, practically baked into their tether, but having the words spoken aloud? She likes that. She likes the certainty.
She hooks her pinky around Jinx's and gives it a soft squeeze, as if closing a pact between them. ] Forever is a long time, you know that? I'm pretty sure you'll be sick of me way before then.
[ Still, there's no real danger in a pinky promise. Not between them. ]
Pffft, fat chance. Do you know how many times I've hurled in the pot since I've been here?
[ she releases her friend's pinky and then shifts slyly so her leg can clip around one of hers underneath the blanket. if sharon needs to go anywhere, jinx is not going to let her go anytime soon with the way she has her locked in. ]
If I can handle... bleh, spaghettiOs, then I can stomach you.
[ Jinx pins her leg in place, and Sharon can't help the small smile that curls up, something warm and private, but it falters the instant Jinx slanders the tomato-soaked pasta in a can. ]
Hey, I love spaghettios! Sure, they're not great straight from the can, but warm them up, throw in a little salt and pepper, maybe some powdered parm, and they're delicious. [ Her mock outrage is unmistakable, followed by a muttered: ] Next you'll tell me you hate boxed mac and cheese.
Aaaah... [ she nods slowly, soaking in the information but then says:] —So that's why your breath smells like a dead frog's ass after it's been roasted under the sun for a week.
[ the bluenette rolls off her friend's chest and settles herself against the cozy pillow, mischief curling in her smile. ]
That kiss had a real hop to it, really got my brain swimming in the swamp.
[ Sharon stares hard at Jinx with a narrowed gaze before she shoves her. ] Keep talking like that, and that'll be the last kiss you get from me. [ Amusement slips into her tone, eradicating any potential threat in her words. ] You have to accept me when I've got dead frog's ass, garlic, or fresh mint breath, bitch.
[ when shoved, jinx reels back to her but opens her mouth wide to playfully bite on sharon's shoulder. there's absolutely no pain when her teeth meet the fabric of her sleepwear, and she remains herself there until she does something about it.
childish? yes. stupid? yes. but she'll do it if it'll get a laugh out of her. all the while, her leg stays lock with hers lovingly despite how she's behaving right now. ]
[ Jinx leans in and sinks her teeth softly into Sharon's shoulder, playful as anything. The surprise flickers across Sharon's face before she laughs under her breath. With her free hand, she reaches over and gently pinches Jinx's nose shut.
[ what a bold move! she gags and lets go of her friend's shoulder and quickly ducks her entire body underneath the blanket. she is obviously fine; there's no real damage to what just transpire, but that doesn't mean she won't be dramatic about it. ]
[ Jinx's reaction pulls a bright laugh out of her. ] Oh, come on, BiteyMcGee. If you're gonna bite me, expect retaliation. [ She says as she pats the Jinx-shaped lump tucked beneath the blankets. ]
[ do you hear that sharon? the silence? because she is staying as still and quiet as the dead underneath those blankets. is she angry? did she magically fell asleep? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cw: very mild ref to sa
[ None of this is Jinx's fault. Jinx hasn't sparked any panic, no whiff of that awful mix of bleach and tobacco the janitor always reeked of, no shadow of cruelty in the way she touches or looks at her. They've kept things light, careful, playful. Wandering hands, yes, but nothing overt, nothing that pushed too far.
Still, it's not something Sharon has really let herself think about since becoming whole again. A nightmare or two, maybe, but even letting her mind drift toward that territory makes her muscles threaten to seize up like a rabbit realizing it's already between a wolf's teeth. ]
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[ she mumbles, now sucking in her lips hard in a way to prevent herself from saying anything or doing anything out of line. jinx wanted sharon to take the wheel of this whole relationship/friendship they're having because people often say they could handle her when, in reality, they can't. but now it seems allowing sharon be in charge was the right call from the start. ]
Uhm. You don't gotta come over if it's... too much. Or. Something. I don't want to make you feel like I'm pushing you into it just because I'm, uh, about to pop. Heh...
[ it's the best way she can describe it, too. all her life, even up to now, she felt like she was this ugly duckling and her older sibling was the beautiful swan. even before caitlyn, vi always had some girl flaunting over her; boy wanted to be with her regardless of her preference, and then there were people like mylo and herself who wanted to impress her or just be her.
jealousy had always been a part of jinx and while that emotion had been diminished significantly, it still prickles across her skin when she least expects it. whenever she sees or hears kalmiya on the murmur, that is when it claws at her the most. ... her body must be so perfect, and her personality is probably what everyone fantasizes about in a woman. oh, to be touched and loved on by someone. but jinx, herself, has be a looker too, right? because why else would sharon, the coolest and hottest girl in the city, possibly do any of this with her? ]
You can punch me any time if I do something stupid.
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I didn't bring it up because I'm trying to back out. I'm telling you just in case. [ It's a safeguard, really, and the idea of reacting badly when she's obviously into this is embarrassing enough without accidentally hurting Jinx's feelings on top of it. Her voice smooths into something warmer. ] If something goes wrong, I don't want you thinking it's because of you, or that I'm not very into all of this. [ The very comes with a playful lilt, a little spark beneath it. ]
But I will punch you if you do anything stupid. [ There's a smile tucked into her tone as she glances down at Jinx, nestled comfortably against her chest again. ] That applies all the time, right?
1/2
granted, eliminating someone or something that will threaten to rip her new best friend away from her arms is very much still in the cards, and she will do it without a second thought. but as far as she can tell, no one here poses such a danger.
... except ash, maybe, the girl who claims she isn't at all mirroring jinx and yet seems to have a lot of the same characteristics. even almost down to ash's family members having the same mannerisms as hers. it's eerie, especially when she also seems to have a decent friendship with sharon. it's a coincidence; all of it is just a coincidence. but as she told her friend in the apartment, sniping her personality is where she draws the line. the bluenette huffs out a tiny giggle and shakes her head at sharon's words and her own thoughts as she crinkles up her face, teasingly. ]
Woah, easy there, Toots. I don't have enough makeup to cover up all the shiners.
2/2 cw: schizophrenia
Eeesh, huh? Guessing that's the famous Freddie I keep hearing about?
cw: schizophrenia
It's not frightening, and it's not something Sharon pities her for. It just hits a sore spot. When Sharon used to see things, at least she knew they usually weren't real. Can't ever confuse a monster for a real person. Jinx doesn't get that certainty. ]
Afraid not, Jinx. [ Her voice stays gentle, free of judgment. She knows Jinx deals with sights and sounds no one else gets. She understands it better than she'd like. ] Pretty sure that's someone only you can see. Door didn't even open. What'd they look like?
cw: schizophrenia
[ the word loses momentum as she gives her door another inspection to see if the stranger was going to materialize again. he doesn't, the door stays shut tight—no sounds of the hinges whining or the knob rattling to give them a heads up.
jinx curls more into her friend, her toes gripping on a blanket before hoisting her foot like an extra hand for her real one to take over. she covers herself underneath it, scooting some of it to sharon in case she wants to get tucked in too. ]
He was big. [ she starts, looking off towards her friend's paintings. ] Almost couldn't fit through the door. Bushy eyebrows, a huge schnoz, a grey beard...an old timer, but not that old. Guess he was a dead guy.
cw: schizophrenia
Maybe he just wanted to check in on us, make sure there wasn't any funny business going on. [ There's a smile in her voice. Then, her voice growing flat— ] Or he could've been some weird pervert. Old men love watching girls make out.
cw: schizophrenia
Hahaha...! —Well, I love showing off. [ the grin then twists cheeky as she shuts her eyes, nose slightly up in the air like she is some big shot. ] Especially when it comes to what's mine.
no subject
Do you have bff necklaces back home? [ The question slips out with only the slightest hitch, hesitant. Maybe now that it's official, she can indulge in stupid, girly bullshit without overthinking it. ] Everyone will know we're besties if we find a pair.
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[ it sounds like something the teenager girls in piltover would do. to buy some expensive charm to brag not only about their friendship but also about how loaded their parents are. ]
I've only had two close friends, but... they didn't stick around long. We didn't really wear anything; it wasn't safe to. Any kind of jewelry could get you robbed blind in the streets if you're sloppy.
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And we don't exactly have to worry about getting robbed blind around here. Not that anyone anywhere would bother stealing these things. They're cheap, usually just some flimsy bit of metal that looks cute for a week before it tarnishes. [ She shrugs. ] I've seen girls braid friendship bracelets, too, but I've never figured out how to do it.
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[ ... that came out way more intimate than she hoped, and a small hint of red bleaches across her freckles over the misinterpretation. but jinx is hoping sharon will know what she actually meant by that. ]
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[ She can't see the future, can't predict what Sleep might twist or what the world might strip from them next, but none of that changes the truth sitting warm and solid in her chest. Jinx has made herself at home in her heart, and that space can't be occupied by anyone else—not anymore. ]
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[ and she lifts her hand to extend out her azure colored pinky, grinning. ]
Pinky promise to forever no matter what?
[ who knows what the future will bring for them, whether they will be until they grow old and grey, both returning to their rightful realms, or... the scariest outcome... they break up. but whatever happens, jinx hopes they continue to stay friends in some shape or form. ]
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She hooks her pinky around Jinx's and gives it a soft squeeze, as if closing a pact between them. ] Forever is a long time, you know that? I'm pretty sure you'll be sick of me way before then.
[ Still, there's no real danger in a pinky promise. Not between them. ]
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[ she releases her friend's pinky and then shifts slyly so her leg can clip around one of hers underneath the blanket. if sharon needs to go anywhere, jinx is not going to let her go anytime soon with the way she has her locked in. ]
If I can handle... bleh, spaghettiOs, then I can stomach you.
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Hey, I love spaghettios! Sure, they're not great straight from the can, but warm them up, throw in a little salt and pepper, maybe some powdered parm, and they're delicious. [ Her mock outrage is unmistakable, followed by a muttered: ] Next you'll tell me you hate boxed mac and cheese.
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[ the bluenette rolls off her friend's chest and settles herself against the cozy pillow, mischief curling in her smile. ]
That kiss had a real hop to it, really got my brain swimming in the swamp.
[ terrible puns. ]
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childish? yes. stupid? yes. but she'll do it if it'll get a laugh out of her. all the while, her leg stays lock with hers lovingly despite how she's behaving right now. ]
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Naughty, naughty, Jinx! ]
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