It's what the knight believes of the hermit, but it's what I believe about you, too. [ The words fit both easily. Sharon leans back, the edge of her playfulness easing into something quieter. ] I know what it looks like when someone is missing their heart. Yours is still there, even if you refuse to notice it.
[ Alessa gave up her heart eighteen years ago to create Sharon, and she remembers the hollow that followed. How empty life felt. How stripped of love she had been. The memory still haunts her, both for how deeply it hurt and for how simple everything became afterward. To feel nothing. To love no one. To exist only to strike back at those who caused pain. It was brutal in its own way.
Jinx shields herself however she can, layers upon layers of defense, but it is all in service of protecting what is fragile inside. Sharon can see it clearly. A small, cautious heart, wrapped in thorns and traps, guarded and bristling, but not sealed away so tightly that nothing else can reach it. ]
[ she says nothing again for a little moment, her head resting deep against the pillow as her eyes bounce sluggishly over sharon's features. she isn't looking for a sign but rather taking her time to absorb whether she has any birthmarks, wrinkles, freckles, or faded scars. her gaze dances down to the hand on her chest; her free hand (which lacks a middle finger) carefully brushes over it, and her smile softens. ]
... You're too good for me. [ jinx mutters, then scoots closer until the tips of their noses bump; her tone then twists into a whisperβlike she's confessing to a secret. ] But I still wanna keep you.
[ Sharon only freckles in the summer, a light scattering of pale pink brown dots across the bridge of her nose and her shoulders, like soft little kisses left by the sun. There is a mole beneath her right eye, though, a tiny beauty mark she has always been fond of. If she were the sort to wear makeup, she would never hide it.
When Jinx shifts closer, closing the space between them until their noses touch, Sharon's smile turns gentle, edged with something that verges on melancholic. She's not entirely sure how she feels about being kept, about being something to belong to someone else, but still... ] Didn't we pinky promise forever?
[ jinx doesn't respond, but giggles quietly as she lets go of her friend's hands and stretches over to cup her cheeks. her thumbs brush over her skinβcarefully, but also in such a devoted gesture.
she can almost see isha now, grinning giddily over how she is with sharon or, well, more like whenever she is around sharon that she behaves this way. jinx vowed that she would never be close to anyone again after her daughter's death, and if isha knew what she had committed to, she'd be so unhappy. and yet, here she is... letting someone bulldoze themselves into her heart once again when she could have sworn she locked it up tight this time.
when jinx leans in so their lips can press together for another kiss, this particular one feels different. it's not feverish or feral, yet deep and smooth. her kiss to her is showing her genuine care for her, and wanting whatever they're all calling this (and jinx is chalking this up as "best friend only privileges," by the way) to not die but to grow stronger.
and it's a real shame that she can't just spend the entire night here with her, not when she promised greed she'd be back home for dinner. she should probably check on that... but later. ]
[ Jinx cups her face with a touch so gentle it feels like Sharon might shatter, thumbs tracing slow, sweet paths over her skin. The tenderness of it knots her heartstrings together, tangled like old Christmas lights pulled from a box after years of neglect. Then Jinx closes the last sliver of space between them, pressing a kiss to her lips that is just as soft, just as careful.
It's not needy. It doesn't demand. It's all feeling, all quiet intent, a wordless prayer that she answers by leaning in. When Sharon pulls back, she lifts a hand to brush Jinx's bangs aside, her gaze lingering, traveling from her mouth to the curve of her nose and finally to her pink eyes. Her smile is slow and satisfied, and the tether between them deepens, flushed and thick with warmth, a steady, pulsing hope for nothing but good things between them. ]
[ there's something on the tip of her tongue, a short sentence begging to be said, but she swallows it down. it's such a strange feeling, tooβbecause it's a sentence that just feels... right to say for some reason, even though jinx is extremely skeptical about it.
she had said it to isha, her parents, and her sister, and it was obviously expected of her, given they were family. but why is it rolling around on her tongue now? why is there such an urge to shove all the other words aside so it could be heard? maybe it's just because of the moment. things with sharon have gotten more comfortable as she spends more time with her, so perhaps the words are just there because she's been feeling so relaxed. it's pretty nothing; she should ignore it and not think so hard on it. ]
... Hey. I, uh. I gotta check on Greed. He's making dinner, and I promised I'd be home to eat with him. We have a tether, so be back in a tick?
[ she's not actually leaving, not physically, anyway. but she wanted to give her friend a heads up that she will be temporarily unavailable mentally as she goes to reach out to him. ]
[ There is a soft, needling sense that Jinx wants to say something, a fleeting presence brushing along their tether. It fades quickly when she turns to talk about Greed instead. They have a tether, too. Good. The more the other girl has, the better.
Sharon leans back into the plush heap of pillows and nods, her smile lingering. ] I'll be here.
[ her smile parallels hers, and she rolls onto her back while exhaling one big sigh through her lips. but before she "leaves," jinx reaches over to entwine their fingers again, and then finally driftsβher entire body sinking deeper into the mattress as all of her muscles relax and lose their tension.
every so often, her closed eyelids and her digits twitch, not drastically, but subtly. it's like she is entering through different cycles of sleep, and she is well on her way into hitting the last and final stage. except she doesn't, of course, and it's too long until her eyes flutter openβsucking in a breath and shakes off a chill from her shoulders. ]
He's not done yet.
[ she announces, keeping her eyes to their ceiling. ]
[ Sharon lets her eyes drift shut while Jinx talks with Greed, savoring the steady closeness of her presence. It feels good to have so many tethers nearby, wrapped tight around her, like being held on all sides by affection and safety—an emotional nest to match the physical one her bed has become.
When Jinx comes back, Sharon smiles without opening her eyes, nudging her gently with their joined hands. ]
Good. I wanted you to stay a little longer anyway.
[ she laughs at that, turning her head to face her with her lips twitching into a smirk. ] Oh, really? And why's that?
[ the answer is probably simple, something that's not at all glamorous, but she couldn't help herself but to ask. jinx is just so used to people getting sick of her presence by now.]
Right! There's also this Freddie guy, Arthur, and... Kalmiya. [ there's a hint of an "eyeroll" tone when she says her name. ] They've gotta be way better company than me.
I...[ a pause, and she sighs herself before shaking her head with a sheepish smile to match it. ] No, you're right. Sorry. F-Forget I said anything. I'm making all of this weird. Again.
[ she positions her head back to the ceiling, shutting her eyes and just waiting for the moment to be gone and forgotten. all the while, telling herself to 'stop it' and 'quit being...like this.' ]
Jinx, it's fine. You know that, right? [ Her voice stays steady, gentle. She squeezes her hand. ] We're both kind of new to this, and I just don't... [ She trails off with a quiet, frustrated sound in the back of her throat, brows knitting as she searches for the right words. ] I just don't get it. That's all.
I never had people before. No one but my parents. I'm always just grateful anyone even gives a shit about me.
I've never had people either. I-I mean, I did... until they died. [ her voice lowers too, almost in a hush. ] And I'm usually the cause of it. The people who are alive still just want to mount my head above a fireplace.
[ jinx turns her head away completely from sharon, staring off to the wall while shrugging one shoulder. ]
So it's just... blowing my mind that you want to hang around me more and you didn't invite me over to kill me, or you're actually a corpse.
[ a pause. ]
I'm not used to having things going smoothly. And... I start panicking a little when things get too cozy.
[ Sharon keeps watching Jinx even when she deliberately looks away, eyes fixed stubbornly on the wall. In some small way, Sharon understands. She's waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it always does. Everything always, always goes wrong. The second things feel steady, the moment you start thinking this is it, the world comes crashing down and grinds that feeling into dust.
Jinx can't trust calm. Not when it's always been a lie before. ]
Okay, first of all, I wouldn't invite someone over just to kill them. [ Dry and earnest. ] I can't trash the townhouse. I think Freddie would completely lose his mind if I did. [ All that blood, all that mess, and no easy way to clean it up. Then she tilts her head, a glint of mischief cutting through the seriousness. ] But if you want, we could shake things up a bit. I'm pretty sure I've still got a good argument in me about how you hate spaghettios.
[she answers a little too quickly and drastic, and she whisks her head around to face her friend again, but there is gentleness smoothing graciously along her skin.]
No.
[jinx repeats the word in a tone that parrots her features this time, clutching onto sharon's nightshirt and forcing her to move in her desired direction. if she lets her, her friend will be on top now, giving her the opportunity to view jinx from a whole different perspective rather than the reversal.]
I'm done arguing with people. Even if it's over spaghettios, I wanna take a break.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Alessa gave up her heart eighteen years ago to create Sharon, and she remembers the hollow that followed. How empty life felt. How stripped of love she had been. The memory still haunts her, both for how deeply it hurt and for how simple everything became afterward. To feel nothing. To love no one. To exist only to strike back at those who caused pain. It was brutal in its own way.
Jinx shields herself however she can, layers upon layers of defense, but it is all in service of protecting what is fragile inside. Sharon can see it clearly. A small, cautious heart, wrapped in thorns and traps, guarded and bristling, but not sealed away so tightly that nothing else can reach it. ]
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... You're too good for me. [ jinx mutters, then scoots closer until the tips of their noses bump; her tone then twists into a whisperβlike she's confessing to a secret. ] But I still wanna keep you.
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When Jinx shifts closer, closing the space between them until their noses touch, Sharon's smile turns gentle, edged with something that verges on melancholic. She's not entirely sure how she feels about being kept, about being something to belong to someone else, but still... ] Didn't we pinky promise forever?
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she can almost see isha now, grinning giddily over how she is with sharon or, well, more like whenever she is around sharon that she behaves this way. jinx vowed that she would never be close to anyone again after her daughter's death, and if isha knew what she had committed to, she'd be so unhappy. and yet, here she is... letting someone bulldoze themselves into her heart once again when she could have sworn she locked it up tight this time.
when jinx leans in so their lips can press together for another kiss, this particular one feels different. it's not feverish or feral, yet deep and smooth. her kiss to her is showing her genuine care for her, and wanting whatever they're all calling this (and jinx is chalking this up as "best friend only privileges," by the way) to not die but to grow stronger.
and it's a real shame that she can't just spend the entire night here with her, not when she promised greed she'd be back home for dinner. she should probably check on that... but later. ]
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It's not needy. It doesn't demand. It's all feeling, all quiet intent, a wordless prayer that she answers by leaning in. When Sharon pulls back, she lifts a hand to brush Jinx's bangs aside, her gaze lingering, traveling from her mouth to the curve of her nose and finally to her pink eyes. Her smile is slow and satisfied, and the tether between them deepens, flushed and thick with warmth, a steady, pulsing hope for nothing but good things between them. ]
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she had said it to isha, her parents, and her sister, and it was obviously expected of her, given they were family. but why is it rolling around on her tongue now? why is there such an urge to shove all the other words aside so it could be heard? maybe it's just because of the moment. things with sharon have gotten more comfortable as she spends more time with her, so perhaps the words are just there because she's been feeling so relaxed. it's pretty nothing; she should ignore it and not think so hard on it. ]
... Hey. I, uh. I gotta check on Greed. He's making dinner, and I promised I'd be home to eat with him. We have a tether, so be back in a tick?
[ she's not actually leaving, not physically, anyway. but she wanted to give her friend a heads up that she will be temporarily unavailable mentally as she goes to reach out to him. ]
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Sharon leans back into the plush heap of pillows and nods, her smile lingering. ] I'll be here.
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every so often, her closed eyelids and her digits twitch, not drastically, but subtly. it's like she is entering through different cycles of sleep, and she is well on her way into hitting the last and final stage. except she doesn't, of course, and it's too long until her eyes flutter openβsucking in a breath and shakes off a chill from her shoulders. ]
He's not done yet.
[ she announces, keeping her eyes to their ceiling. ]
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When Jinx comes back, Sharon smiles without opening her eyes, nudging her gently with their joined hands. ]
Good. I wanted you to stay a little longer anyway.
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[ the answer is probably simple, something that's not at all glamorous, but she couldn't help herself but to ask. jinx is just so used to people getting sick of her presence by now.]
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Because I like having you around. Isn't that obvious?
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Is it not enough that I like yours? Because I'm not in the habit of ranking the company I keep.
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[ she positions her head back to the ceiling, shutting her eyes and just waiting for the moment to be gone and forgotten. all the while, telling herself to 'stop it' and 'quit being...like this.' ]
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I never had people before. No one but my parents. I'm always just grateful anyone even gives a shit about me.
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[ jinx turns her head away completely from sharon, staring off to the wall while shrugging one shoulder. ]
So it's just... blowing my mind that you want to hang around me more and you didn't invite me over to kill me, or you're actually a corpse.
[ a pause. ]
I'm not used to having things going smoothly. And... I start panicking a little when things get too cozy.
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Jinx can't trust calm. Not when it's always been a lie before. ]
Okay, first of all, I wouldn't invite someone over just to kill them. [ Dry and earnest. ] I can't trash the townhouse. I think Freddie would completely lose his mind if I did. [ All that blood, all that mess, and no easy way to clean it up. Then she tilts her head, a glint of mischief cutting through the seriousness. ] But if you want, we could shake things up a bit. I'm pretty sure I've still got a good argument in me about how you hate spaghettios.
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[she answers a little too quickly and drastic, and she whisks her head around to face her friend again, but there is gentleness smoothing graciously along her skin.]
No.
[jinx repeats the word in a tone that parrots her features this time, clutching onto sharon's nightshirt and forcing her to move in her desired direction. if she lets her, her friend will be on top now, giving her the opportunity to view jinx from a whole different perspective rather than the reversal.]
I'm done arguing with people. Even if it's over spaghettios, I wanna take a break.