Right! There's also this Freddie guy, Arthur, and... Kalmiya. [ there's a hint of an "eyeroll" tone when she says her name. ] They've gotta be way better company than me.
I...[ a pause, and she sighs herself before shaking her head with a sheepish smile to match it. ] No, you're right. Sorry. F-Forget I said anything. I'm making all of this weird. Again.
[ she positions her head back to the ceiling, shutting her eyes and just waiting for the moment to be gone and forgotten. all the while, telling herself to 'stop it' and 'quit being...like this.' ]
Jinx, it's fine. You know that, right? [ Her voice stays steady, gentle. She squeezes her hand. ] We're both kind of new to this, and I just don't... [ She trails off with a quiet, frustrated sound in the back of her throat, brows knitting as she searches for the right words. ] I just don't get it. That's all.
I never had people before. No one but my parents. I'm always just grateful anyone even gives a shit about me.
I've never had people either. I-I mean, I did... until they died. [ her voice lowers too, almost in a hush. ] And I'm usually the cause of it. The people who are alive still just want to mount my head above a fireplace.
[ jinx turns her head away completely from sharon, staring off to the wall while shrugging one shoulder. ]
So it's just... blowing my mind that you want to hang around me more and you didn't invite me over to kill me, or you're actually a corpse.
[ a pause. ]
I'm not used to having things going smoothly. And... I start panicking a little when things get too cozy.
[ Sharon keeps watching Jinx even when she deliberately looks away, eyes fixed stubbornly on the wall. In some small way, Sharon understands. She's waiting for the other shoe to drop, because it always does. Everything always, always goes wrong. The second things feel steady, the moment you start thinking this is it, the world comes crashing down and grinds that feeling into dust.
Jinx can't trust calm. Not when it's always been a lie before. ]
Okay, first of all, I wouldn't invite someone over just to kill them. [ Dry and earnest. ] I can't trash the townhouse. I think Freddie would completely lose his mind if I did. [ All that blood, all that mess, and no easy way to clean it up. Then she tilts her head, a glint of mischief cutting through the seriousness. ] But if you want, we could shake things up a bit. I'm pretty sure I've still got a good argument in me about how you hate spaghettios.
[she answers a little too quickly and drastic, and she whisks her head around to face her friend again, but there is gentleness smoothing graciously along her skin.]
No.
[jinx repeats the word in a tone that parrots her features this time, clutching onto sharon's nightshirt and forcing her to move in her desired direction. if she lets her, her friend will be on top now, giving her the opportunity to view jinx from a whole different perspective rather than the reversal.]
I'm done arguing with people. Even if it's over spaghettios, I wanna take a break.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Is it not enough that I like yours? Because I'm not in the habit of ranking the company I keep.
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[ she positions her head back to the ceiling, shutting her eyes and just waiting for the moment to be gone and forgotten. all the while, telling herself to 'stop it' and 'quit being...like this.' ]
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I never had people before. No one but my parents. I'm always just grateful anyone even gives a shit about me.
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[ jinx turns her head away completely from sharon, staring off to the wall while shrugging one shoulder. ]
So it's just... blowing my mind that you want to hang around me more and you didn't invite me over to kill me, or you're actually a corpse.
[ a pause. ]
I'm not used to having things going smoothly. And... I start panicking a little when things get too cozy.
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Jinx can't trust calm. Not when it's always been a lie before. ]
Okay, first of all, I wouldn't invite someone over just to kill them. [ Dry and earnest. ] I can't trash the townhouse. I think Freddie would completely lose his mind if I did. [ All that blood, all that mess, and no easy way to clean it up. Then she tilts her head, a glint of mischief cutting through the seriousness. ] But if you want, we could shake things up a bit. I'm pretty sure I've still got a good argument in me about how you hate spaghettios.
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[she answers a little too quickly and drastic, and she whisks her head around to face her friend again, but there is gentleness smoothing graciously along her skin.]
No.
[jinx repeats the word in a tone that parrots her features this time, clutching onto sharon's nightshirt and forcing her to move in her desired direction. if she lets her, her friend will be on top now, giving her the opportunity to view jinx from a whole different perspective rather than the reversal.]
I'm done arguing with people. Even if it's over spaghettios, I wanna take a break.